Daily Courage

Sometimes I stray away from what I do best. I have seen others do it too. We each have our gifts, the things that come naturally. Despite knowing what we do best, it’s easy to become bored or wonder “what if?” Sometimes I find myself far from what I do best, and usually not very happy.

I met Judy Watkins over ten years ago at The San Francisco Gift Show when I was the editor of Romantic Homes. Judy and her partner owned a tiny, sparkling gem of a shop in Pismo Beach named Well La De Da! It was filled with vintage treasures they had gathered and packed into the little one-room store about the size of  a walk-in closet. The encounter at the gift show led to my visiting them, photographer in tow. Judy and I connected right away and an enduring friendship emerged. 

Judy is best at hunting, gathering, arranging things with an artist’s eye, and at bringing people together to enjoy them. She is good at lots of other things too, but these are the things that make her heart sing. 

She joined forces with another visionary retailer in a wonderful store that was named, “Old Edna Says Well La De Da,” just outside San Luis Obispo, CA. That launched her ownership  of a magical store called CALA. Along the way, Judy’s mother became ill. The business grew, and with it came the headaches of success. Judy made the decision to care for her mother and savor their last time together, which meant parting with the CALA.

She had long felt a calling in her heart to create a special event that would be a magical gathering place filled with antique dealers, collectors, artisans, and kindred creative spirits. It wouldn’t require day-to-day bricks and mortar, but would  be something to be looked forward to twice a year. And that is how Remnants of the Past came to be. Judy found a home for the event on a farm with rural barn down a pastoral lane owned by Judy Powers. Texas has Round Top, Massachusetts has Brimfield, and Central California has Remnants of the Past every October and April.

And its all because Judy followed her heart and did what she does best! I was there when she started talking about making Remnants a reality. She had the courage to do it.

The next show is October 10. In addition to the regulars, there are going to be some amazing women there – including April Cornell. It’s well worth the trip.

One of the realities of life is that we never know what is around the bend. Sometimes it takes great courage to deal face what we are handed. Like many women, I bought into a lot of the myths of motherhood. If I did things the “right way”, I would be fine and my children would be healthy and happy. Twenty-one years ago today, I gave birth to my first child, a boy named Brendan Patrick. Fairytales seemed to lie ahead with this little angel baby in my arms.

The one gift I wanted him to receive from me was self-confidence and a love of himself. What I didn’t know was that just because I did all the things a “good mother” does, there were no guarantees. I won’t go into the details because my cross is no heavier that anyone else’s. It’s how I dealt with it that is the point of this post. But it had to do with family health battles, and a rotten disease – Crohns.

I let worry and angst take me over. Without realizing it, I stopped nurturing myself and my own soul. I depleted any emotional reserves I had in the bank and fell hard and fast into an emotional breakdown prefaced by a panic attack. I nearly took my family down with me when I went.

I have built a career on talking to other women about the importance of nurturing themselves, taking time to creatively express themselves and inspiring them with articles and books. But, I myself had lost the balance and instead focussed on many things I could not control. Because I didn’t honor the signs my heart, soul and body were trying to give me. Because I didn’t stop to listen to, the deciding was done for me. I was knocked flat out, physically and emotionally. 

It was time to enter into a period of deep introspection, circle the family wagons, and make some changes. I developed a Wellness Plan. A component of it is to nurture my creative side, and get back to walking my talk. That has put me back in my craft studio. And back to writing. I was writing for everyone else, but not for me.

I think that is why I particularly enjoyed the Blogging for Bliss blog tour party that launched yesterday. I got to look into the creative souls of many wonderful women. Some of whom I am sure have had similar experiences to mine. (And then there are those better-balanced women who know that you don’t let up on the things that nurture you when the going gets rough.)

Happily, the Birthday Boy is doing very well after a wonderful wilderness therapy program. Our daughter is serving as a junior counselor at a camp for young people with Crohn’s Disease, where she is sharing her story that while you may walk in the valley at times, the illness is manageable and life moves on. And so do I. Wiser than before, back at the keyboard and putting in time  with my jumbled array of ribbons, papers, buttons, baubles and other craft supplies.

Time to crank out a few new crowns and perhaps some new jewelry designs from the watch parts I found at the Alameda Flea Market on an outing with dear friend Judy Watkins.

Whatever you do, don’t stop creating!